Going Live: Streaming Through the Anxiety

My journey on Twitch, and why I'm still at it.

Going Live: Streaming Through the Anxiety
Streaming equipment. Photo by Stanley Li / Unsplash.

Before 2019, I didn't understand Twitch or live streams centered around gaming. At all.

I love video games, but the concept of watching someone else play them seemed completely foreign. You could reason that maybe this other gamer might have a different approach to parts of the game you were stuck on, or they were able to complete a puzzle that you weren't entirely sure how to solve yourself. But even then, you could simply look up the solutions in a walkthrough — which, for years now, have been available both in print and online — or even find a video on YouTube guiding you through that one specific pain point before continuing onward. Watching a total stranger play video games, potentially for hours, just didn't sound like an ideal way to spend time. It probably doesn't make a lot of sense on paper for a lot of people.

So, how did I come to love and start streaming on Twitch? To paraphrase the very awesome and hilarious Elyse Myers: That's a great question, I'd love to tell you!

Twitch Beginnings

By the mid-2010s, I found myself with a Twitch account. Initially, it was mostly so my immediate family and I could stream games like The Jackbox Party Pack to one another, but we quickly caught on that there didn't seem to be a relatively easy way to prevent strangers from viewing what you were streaming. You would think that would signal the end of Twitch for us, but we found ourselves using the streaming service again in 2016. At the time, we were very obsessed with World of Warcraft, and frequently grouped up together to play as a party. Since our little family group is comprised of only six people, though, that meant we couldn't typically complete dungeons or raids, which required parties of up to 40 people, though 10 and 25-man groups were the standard. Not unless we joined groups that were recruiting, but often led by nerds who were craving power and were willing to kick out the first person to make a mistake, or unless we made some new friends really fast. And if you think I'm the only introvert in my family of six, you're sorely mistaken. That meant we were frequently left out of Warcraft's endgame content.

Then we heard about something happening over on Twitch. A few players who had practically become professionals at completing that very content were starting a little operation they were calling “Friendship Moose.” Essentially, they were taking their parties through the notoriously difficult raid dungeons and were live-streaming it on their Twitch channels. Not only that, but they were also giving away the chance to join them in their raiding parties and be carried through the content. The incentive? Players who completed the latest raid dungeon at a higher difficulty level were rewarded with the Grove Warden mount, an exclusive in-game moose the player could ride throughout the digital world of Azeroth. Handy and beautiful for sure, but it also served as a badge of honor. You see, when the next chapter of World of Warcraft was released — and its new, even more difficult endgame with it — the Grove Warden would become unavailable. Seemingly forever.

World of Warcraft's Grove Warden mount. Image from WowHead.
World of Warcraft's Grove Warden mount. Image from WowHead.

We were fervent mount and pet collectors in the game, but typically just accepted that all of the higher-tier spoils like the Grove Warden were out of our reach. We would just have to deal with feeling envious of those running around on their own. That was until Friendship Moose came along. Thankfully, I pushed my pride aside one night and was able to get into one of the raiding parties. And let me tell you: They label the higher-level difficulties as “Heroic” and “Mythic” for a reason. They are extremely punishing to players who are not accustomed to content at that difficulty. But I pushed through and did obtain my Grove Warden that night. All thanks to Friendship Moose.

And through Friendship Moose, I was also starting to see the value of Twitch. It isn't just about “watching someone else play video games.” It's about bringing people with a similar interest together and forging a community around it. And that had a certain kind of appeal to it.

Learning to Love Twitch

By 2019, I found myself watching a few other Warcraft streamers who regularly went live with their adventures in Azeroth. It started to turn into a bit of fun. Getting to watch what other people were doing in the game while participating in chat, and very often playing the game myself on my second monitor. Getting to know the streamer and their community, along with occasionally even getting to play with them, was becoming one of my new favorite things to do in my spare time. I even started branching out into watching people who were doing other things like playing live music, making arts and crafts, programming software, or even just going live to chat with their audience! The Twitch channel that I've personally been subscribed to the longest, in fact, is a violinist who not only plays games live, but she's also well-known for her live music streams playing the electric violin!

The desire to make an attempt at streaming to my own channel started to grow. I was beyond nervous to do it, though. I would venture to guess that a good majority of the most popular Twitch streamers are people who had established audiences before stepping into streaming. Mostly celebrities or popular YouTubers. If this wasn't the case, then it's likely that they grew their audience on Twitch from before the platform became completely oversaturated with ambitious new streamers that also want to get in it for the “big bucks.” Or... They just have an amazing skill or talent to draw people in. I was none of these things, though. I am just some dude who likes to play video games and vibe with fun people. Why would anyone bother turning on my channel? Nobody even knows who I am!

A moment clipped from one of my Palia streams, currently on my YouTube and TikTok channels!

But also... Nobody knows who I am. That weirdly made the concept less daunting. It wasn't like going on the air and immediately being in front of several hundred people. There weren't going to be a lot of people watching me right away, so it provided me a little bit of a safe space to figure out exactly what the vibes were going to be like for my channel. Nevertheless, thanks to my little gaming family and the various connections I had made on Twitch before streaming for myself, I was still able to reach Twitch Affiliate status by September 2019.

That was the exciting first step. It meant that viewers could start supporting me and my channel monetarily with a small subscription fee or by donating with “bits,” a type of currency you can purchase on Twitch with the sole purpose of using them to boost your favorite streamers. It's also your first little bit of recognition from the platform that you've acquired at least 50 followers and an average of 3 concurrent viewers. To obtain the status of Twitch Partner and get the coveted purple checkmark next to your name (among other nice benefits), you have to do even more.

Overcoming Anxiety

I'm still not a Twitch Partner. I still don't even have much in the way of a regular audience. There's a handful of pals that I've made on the platform over the years that will swing by occasionally to hang with me and the family, but I still generally find myself with less than 10 viewers during any given stream. And I'll be honest with you: That used to hurt a lot. Sometimes I would get depressed and even give up on streaming for long periods. My brain gremlins would rationalize the hiatuses by saying that hardly anyone would miss my content anyway. But I still eventually found my way back to it. I always missed the community and the connection that wasn't there when I strayed.

When you suffer from generalized anxiety like I do, you know that those brain gremlins are always trying to make you believe the worst about yourself. And while sometimes they do manage to prevent me from showing my face on camera, it's never permanent. Strangely, being live on Twitch has been a practice that has helped me become more comfortable with myself and more confident with public speaking. And in the process, I've also learned to stop stressing about the numbers. I would love for more people to discover my content and join us in the fun. And who wouldn't love to build their entire career around it? But right now, I'm just having fun with it and enjoying the company of the 2 - 8 people who do join me on a good night. And if I manage to snag a new follower or earn a little pocket change at the same time, then that's just a bonus.

You Should Stream, Too!

A question that often emerges in streamer communities is whether someone is “cut out” to be a streamer or not. In my opinion, I always say yes. If you're interested in giving it a shot, then you should. Go for it! But there are some things that I think a budding streamer should know first:

  • Don't do it for fame and money!
    It sounds like pretty standard advice, but a lot of people (kids and young adults especially) think that they can jump into the world of streaming or creating videos on YouTube and that it'll be their express ticket to fame and fortune. There are many Twitch and YouTube channels that cash in some pretty hefty checks, but I would go out on a limb to say that a solid majority of new streamers burn out within a few months. Many of them never get a single viewer. You have to start somewhere, and unless you're lucky enough to find that famed lightning in a bottle, you aren't going to start big.
  • Network with other creators!
    You're going to want some friends and allies in your corner who are in the same place you are. And your fellow creators and their communities are where you're most likely to find them. Don't just join in someone's chat and start inviting people to your own stream. It's actually considered poor etiquette to mention your stream or content at all unless directly asked. But joining in and making genuine connections with other streamers also increases the likelihood that they will also check out your channel.
A very corporate-looking man states that "You gotta network to get work baby."
This guy seems sleazy but he knows what he's talking about!
  • Be consistent!
    This is the thing that I struggle with the most in almost any of my many projects. Developing a consistent schedule so that your audience knows when to tune in is very important. If you are consistently cancelling streams or your schedule is erratic, viewers might not bother trying to find you. And although yours truly needs to practice what he preaches (I'm the king of variety, honestly), it's also not always good to stream a variety of different things. Variety might seem like the spice of life, but viewers who have come to watch you play Dead by Daylight might not be interested in sticking around for your crochet crafting stream.
  • Invest in your tech!
    You can stream to Twitch from a cell phone and some gaming consoles, but generally speaking, you're going to want to go all-in on a decent PC to manage the best possible stream. You don't need something super high-end, but you'll likely need to get something with a dedicated graphics card that was made in at least the last 5-10 years, especially if you're going to be making gaming content. You will need a fast and reliable internet connection. You're going to need basics like a good microphone, webcam, and some decent lighting. You might also benefit from a few extra peripherals like the Elgato Stream Deck. And you're going to need to learn how to use a few pieces of software, primarily OBS. And all of that is just scratching the surface! But I strongly recommend not spending a huge fortune until you know that you love and are committed to streaming — just get the basics you can afford to get you up and running first.

Once you're past the learning curve, you'll come to find that streaming can be a lot of work behind the scenes, but can also be a lot of fun and completely worth the effort. And it doesn't matter who you are or what you look or sound like to be successful. Content creators come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds. To emphasize this fact and to promote diversity, Twitch even offers users membership to what they call “Unity Guilds.” Anyone can be a successful streamer. It all just depends on whether you're dedicated enough. So to that I say:

Why not?

Build your channel and your community. It's all waiting for you! And be sure to let me know when you do. I'd love to be your first follower. 😉

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Hey! You! Yes, you! I used the peach emoji that “the kids” use in place of a butt to get your attention. Are there any Gen Z readers out there who can tell me if I'm doing this right???

Anyway, Jiggy's Journal now has an AMA (Ask Me Anything) page! You got 🔥burning questions🔥 for me? Maybe a comment or suggestion? Check out the page here and submit everything that's on your mind. Afterwards, I'll respond in a future post!

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